


My One and My Only.

by Megalohdon



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Oh my god this is stupidly cheesy, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-30
Updated: 2012-06-30
Packaged: 2017-11-08 22:00:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/448006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megalohdon/pseuds/Megalohdon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You turned to look at her, brow rising in question as she gently shook her head no. She trusted whatever he was doing. You didn’t. You wanted to go after him, lead him back to where the group was so you would all be together in the end. No one left behind right? His stance at the ready, legs spreading a bit, with his back hunched and arms extended out to the side. His hands were opened up as if he was holding some object you could not see.<br/>Almost like he was using psionics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My One and My Only.

It was coming. Devastation, destruction, depression. Death. There wasn’t much you could do at this point. No, it was far too late now to be the leader your friends depended on. The leader that was supposed to save them, yet seven were dead. You had let this happen, because you were scared of a psychotic clown who was dead set on destroying you all. You managed to stop him later, why not before? Why couldn’t you admit, curled in the fetal position under the command center, that you were nothing. You were no leader. You were nothing special.  
You weren’t a hero.  
And now, eyes locked on the rocketing asteroid, it hits you that despite your failures your friends still relied on you. Even after you dropped you newly blind best friend down the stairs, he still followed you. Gamzee followed you because even sober he was lost, subconsciously scared of the inevitable you claimed you could prevent. Kanaya always stuck beside you, no matter how much wrong you managed to do by everyone. She was that crutch you needed, and she was more than willing to stay like that. Terezi needed you to save her from the sights she could not see, could not face alone without harm coming to her. She needed you to be her eyes, her savior. The hero you would never be.  
The newly blind stepped forward, seemingly breaking the spell of awe that held the rest of you down. What was he doing? Your eyes fell upon him, his slender frame tainted with splotches of his mustard blood. His staggered steps lead him forward blindly, your mouth falling agape as you took a step forward, feeling a pursuit. Terezi’s hand on your shoulder stopped you mid-step. Did she know?  
You turned to look at her, brow rising in question as she gently shook her head no. She trusted whatever he was doing. You didn’t. You wanted to go after him, lead him back to where the group was so you would all be together in the end. No one left behind right? His stance at the ready, legs spreading a bit, with his back hunched and arms extended out to the side. His hands were opened up as if he was holding some object you could not see.  
Almost like he was using psionics.  
Oh god. No. Your mouth fell open again, brain willing out a scream, a warning. Something. But nothing happens. You stay silent as Sollux charges up, feet planted onto the ground. Sparks. Yellow sparks flying from his being attach themselves to the meteor. His face twisted into a snarl, lip rose as his brows furrowed. He was concentrating on this. That mustard blooded Gemini was going to try to move a fucking meteor.  
Your breath hitched, holding still as you stare back towards the sky, towards your inevitable doom. You could see the yellow sparks flicker on the rock. He had hold of it now. Your breathing quivered with each breath drawn, moments in sustained silence becoming more and more unbearable. Questions and doubt hung in the air by a string, staying there until they were needed to be taken down and dealt with.  
You can see his body shake a bit. What was going on with him? The meteor was pushing backwards slowly, taking every ounce of strength his wiry frame could muster. He was breaking right there. In front of your eyes your best friend was slipping away, cracking and shattering.  
It was too much. A trail of blood ran down the side of his face. He paid no attention, but you did. You felt as if he would break, but not literally. Collapse into a weak ball, exhausted and worn. But no. He was breaking in all the literal means. His face was cracking, blood running from the wounds as his concentration kept strong. He was managing to turn the meteor at a certain angle so it would glide past your asteroid. In truth it was working, you could visibly see the giant rock shifting its course every moment or so.   
And the blood kept coming. Dripping to the floor, rolling off his cheek and onto his bare forearm. And he acted as if nothing was wrong. As if it was all fine and good, that he was going to save you all. Which then it hit you that was what he wanted to do. From the start of this damned game he was made it priority to make sure everyone was safe. That the game goes as well as planned. His objective failed too. And while you sit here dumbstruck, wondering why you never stepped up to the plate to do something about your failures, Sollux was becoming a sacrificial being.   
He didn’t step forward expecting to come out of this. He didn’t volunteer for such a task with the intent to survive. Right before you your best friend was killing himself in order to save you. And yet you do nothing to save him.  
You hadn’t noticed the tears slowly creeping over your skin, lurking at your chin before dropping to your feet. You had been completely unaware of how much this hurt. How badly you wished that was you, not him. But it was. It was too late to switch, the comet was nearly at the proper alignment. His body felt it, you could see. Violent tremors rocked his person, loud screams bursting past that wall of silence as he pushed the meteor on.   
The screams haunted you. They were more like a cry of death, of unbearable pain. He was suffering and you weren’t doing anything. Do something! You can’t. You’re scared, worried, unsure. You don’t know what to do now, where you are supposed to be, who the person you are entitled to become was. Your mind was blank, fried with confusion.   
Crack. You shake your head, rubbing your leaking eyes before you look at him. He did it. The comet was set to fly around you, miss you, spare you. You let out a soft cheer before you realize what was happening. Body still shaking he collapsed to his knees, the puddle of blood beneath him splashing around his place. He leaned forward, hands pressing against the ground to keep him up as the blood continued to drip.  
Terezi drops her hand. She’s no imbecile, she knows what is happening. You run to his side, falling to your knees and sliding to a halt beside him. You gently turn him to face you, lifting his face up to look at yours. Oh god. It wasn’t one small crack. No.   
He was like a marble slab, a jack hammer taken to the center of his forehead and let run for a minute or two. Your best friend was pressing into your touch, your eyes too focused on the yellow seeping from his face to notice he was falling. On his side he landed in your lap. Your eyes closed while your arms wrapped around his torso, tugging him up so you could hold him close.   
His head rested on your shoulder, face buried in the crook of your neck while his breathing struggled to stay regulated. Fuck, his body was failing. You bite your lip and hold back a sob, burying your face in the top of his head, inhaling his sweet, honey-like scent. Every moment now was precious. You wouldn’t be so dead set on making this last for you if you didn’t know it would be the end to him. Your best frined.  
You grip onto him, he shifts a bit, weakly nuzzling your neck to tell you it was okay. That he insisted everything was fine and he would live. Damn you both if either of you believed that. It killed you to see him like this. Bloodied, blind, helpless. Dying. Dying in your arms, your hold, that safety blanket you wished you could provide to him. But you couldn’t. There was no saving him. Now it was only a matter of time before it was down to four.   
Everyone watched. Terezi hovered behind you but said nothing. She had nothing that needed to be said for the situation, only silent tears that dropped to the beat of yours. You couldn’t tell if the other two were crying yet, but you heard a sniffle come from the Virgo, so you assumed she was. Gamzee was harder to tell, what with being sober and all. But if you listened carefully the drops fell with yours.   
It wasn’t just you grieving now. It was a universal thing among the group. You all hurt, a small part of you, personally, dying with each hitched breath the Gemini took. A countdown of breaths you called it. Eventually one would be the last. One would be the last thing to supply his body with oxygen. One last breath to sustain his life, and then he would be gone. Gone forever with no chance of revival. Feferi was gone too. She couldn’t help now. It was over and done. The mage had served his allotted time. A time that fell too short.  
He shifted a bit and you pulled your head back. He leaned his own back and looked up at you, those empty sockets peering at you with a lingering desire for vision. But there was none. In his last moments the one person he wanted to see was a cloud of black. Your facial expressions softened, sadness lined each feature as you awaited for his response,   
“Khaykhay?” He whispered, another wheezy breath inhaling while you cleared your throat to respond, “Yeah, Sollux?”  
“I wanted to tell you something… important. Okay?”  
“Yeah… Yeah, sure, go ahead, alright?”  
A weak nod is what you're granted as his hand fell to find yours, taking it into his own while those empty eyes stared at you, “You mean… So much to me… Khaykhay… I think more than… You would… Know.” You felt a lump growing in your throat. “You give me reason… to push… A reason to strive and… To want to help.” You shake your head, this can’t be happening, “You have saved me… From myself. My worst enemy… You saved me, Khaykhay… No matter what, you’ll be… My hero… Cause I wouldn’t be here… If you didn’t care.  
“I know it’s too late… I know that… But I couldn’t… Go without telling you… That to me, you’re more… Than my best friend… Khaykhay… You’re my reason to live… We both… Gave each other a reason. But you… You were the best reason… I ever found.”  
You had ignored your tears, the rapidly dying body of your friend in your arms was far too important right now, “Sollux, you’re right. You did give me a reason to live… You cared about me more than anyone else… Your kindness showed me… Showed me that I’m not worthless. That I mean something to someone… It’s never too late… But I can’t say I don’t feel the same.” Another quivering breath on your part as you gripped him lightly. And a smile. That smile that drew itself lightly into his face caught your heart for a moment, “Good… Khaykhay? Can I ask you… a question, since you said… It’s never too late?” You muttered a barely audible 'yes' as he nodded, “Since… It’s never too late, I wanted to ask… if it was too much… for you to be mine… And for me to… be yours… Forever, you know? Is… Is that too much?”  
You couldn’t stop the violent sobs now, only raising him up to you, holding him behind his back to prop him up. Your face leaned in a bit, eyes glancing down as you answered him, “Sollux… No… It’s, it’s not too much. You’ll be mine, and I’ll be yours. Forever. I promise.” He smiled again, your eyes closing so as to not have to see him. You leaned in more to press his your lips to his, a lingering kiss holding out for a minute.   
He said nothing, but you pulled him close and pressed your lips to his ear, “It’s okay, Sollux. You can go… I don’t want you to hurt, okay? It’s alright.” He made no verbal response, just a weak nod. For a few more minutes his slow, shaky breathing continued, coming to a sudden halt at the end.   
You buried your head in his shoulder, sobs nearly wails as Terezi kneels down beside you and wraps her arms around your torso, offering you a hug you very much so needed. In the end he saved you. He admitted his feelings, and you sealed a promise with a kiss. Now, lonelier than ever, you held his limp body in your arms, refusing to move for a while.  
“You were my hero too, Sollux.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this way back when EOA5 happened and just now happened to find it. It was really cheesy, and I'm not proud of that, but I know it was one of the better sadstuck's I've ever written. So I wanted to put it up here.


End file.
